Fear has buried its ghastly talons into the mind of my 3-year old daughter. Again.
I know you mean well when you ask, “Is she getting better?” But the answer is and always will be “No.”
Because fear comes out of nowhere. Fear is a sudden impulse in our house. My daughter’s fears leave her mommy and me writhing on the carpet and writing about it later.
We can’t help her because we don’t know what switch will be flipped in her sweet little mind. She is being tormented by blades of grass in the bath water. She is being tormented by the felt presence of oscillating fans. She is being tormented by any shadow that resembles the tiniest of gnats.
She won’t come into our room anymore. She won’t play in our backyard anymore. She won’t get into her bathtub anymore. She won’t shop for flowers at Lowe’s anymore. She won’t go to the Library anymore.
Because of fear.
What kind of evil enemy do we have that torments the mind of a 3-year old girl with crippling fears of benign things? I’ve spent many nights laying hands on her, praying over her, begging God to heal her. To free her. Because this is not right. 3-year old girls should not be tormented by fear like this. So in my pleadings with God I’m also begging Him to return. To come back. To make this right. To destroy the Enemy that is trying to destroy the mind of a little girl.
But our resiliency is waning. It is hard to rejoice always and pray without ceasing when every whiff of a fly or every speck of dirt in the bath water can send our daughter careening into an inescapable grip of terror. One in which she will not be comforted. One in which she will not be consoled. One in which she will not negotiate, reason, or even trust. She does not feel safe anywhere (even in the arms of her bewildered parents). And so it’s hard to plead with an omnipresent God when I myself am crying out, “Where ARE you?”
So please, don’t leave April and me to fight on our own. If you will, pray however the Spirit leads, but specifically for the following:
- Kinsleigh’s healing
- That her mind would be FREE from the grip of fear
- That that which is responsible for tormenting her would be defeated
- For peace in my wife’s heart
- For courage in mine
- For grace to be patient, take heart, and wait on the Lord
This is not right. This is not how God designed things. Our enemy is real. But our God is bigger. I trust Him. I always will. But this is going to be a long road, indeed.